How to Deal with Energy Vampires at the Office

Colin Robinson, one of the much-loved characters of the mockumentary television series What We Do in the Shadows, is an energy vampire. This means that, unlike his three blood-sucking, fanged friends who he shares a home with on Staten Island, Colin feasts on the life force of human beings by draining them emotionally. One opinion piece covering the series describes Colin as an annoying little goober, and it’s a pretty apt analysis. The energy vampire is as maddening as he is exhausting, reliably weighing in on any conversation with his mundane comments, long and uninteresting diatribes, and terrible jokes. He has mastered the art of irritation in every possible way, whether it’s sharing his extensive thoughts on zoning ordinances, harnessing a mechanical pencil sharpener in the workplace, or supplying an iPod for a road trip loaded up with 25 versions of the song “Hey There Delilah.” As far as we know, energy vampires in the real world don’t have Colin’s ability to send their victims into a coma. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t capable of wreaking some serious havoc.